JESSI WEATHER SERVICE
 YOSHI WARNING
DEC 17 2014
 

THE JESSI WEATHER SERVICE IN NOWHERE CITY  HAS ISSUED A YOSHI WARNING
FOR THE CITIES FOR LOSERVILLE IN NOWHER COUNTY UNTIL 5PM EST
AT 3:00PM EST MILLONS OF YOSHIS WERE WREAKING HAVOC ON LOSER BEACH.

PLEASE STAY IN YOUR HOMES UNTIL THE YOSHIS ARE GONE!

Yoshi watch

JESSI NEWS BULLETIN

YOSHI WATCH ISSUED FOR THE WHOLE WORLD UNTIL FUTHER NOTICE
AT 3:00 USA TIME DENISE SPOTTED A BLACK YOSHI WITH A GUN PLEASE LOCKED YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS AND LISTIN FOR ANY POSSIBLE YOSHI WARNINGS

Mario Warning

DENISE NEWS BULLETIN

MAY 3 2014

5:42 PM

MARIO HAS BEEN SPOTTED AT THE LOCAL CARVEL ICECREAM STORE IN USA, ALABAMA AND MARIO'S BRO. LUIGI HAS BEEN SPOTTED AT THE LOCAL HOTDOG CART IN USA, MICHIGAN. IF YOU SEE LUIGI OR MARIO WALK AWAY OR RUN BECAUSE THEY LOVE TO START FOOD FIGHTS! MARIO WILL THROW ICECREAM ON YOUR NOSE AND LUIGI WILL THROW HOTDOGS IN YOUR HAIR. BRING AN UMBRELLA IF YOU GO TO A ICECREAM STORE OR HOTDOG CART. 

MARIO WATCH AND WARNING IS IN EFFECT FOR TODAY UNTIL MAY 5 2014

$$

Taylor Swift Watch

NEWS SERVICE BULLETIN

REPORTER DENISE

MAY 1ST 2014

AT 7:44 PM EST TAYLOR SWIFT WAS CAUGHT SHOOTING PEOPLE AT CENTRAL PARK. THE FOLLOWING TOWNS HAVE TO BE QUICK... CENTRALIZY...TAYTAY FIT... LINDEN CYRUS... SELENA ST and MARISAN ST. IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES FROM NOW TAYLOR SWIFT WILL BE AT CENTRALIZY. IN 10 MINUTES AFTER CENTRALIZY IS TAYTAY FIT. 20 MINUTES AFTER TAYTAY FIT IS LINDEN CYRUS &SELENA ST. 5 MINUTES AFTER THOSE IS MARISAN ST. LOCK YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS THEREFOR TAYLOR SWIFT IS A KILLER! STAY SAFE AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

$$

TIGER NEWS BULLTIN


APR 29


ONE DIRECTION WARNING ISSUED FOR THE USA UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD


ABOUT 6 MINUTES AGO POLICE SPOTTED THE ONE DIRECTION MEMBERS
 AT A SHELL GAS STATION ON HIGHWAY 3


POLICE ADVISE YOU TO LOCK YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS RIGHT NOW AS HARRY STYLES AND THE REST OF ONE DIRECTION ARE DANGEROUS TO PEOPLE AND CHILDREN

ICE CREAM WARNING

JESSI WEATHER SERVICE BULLETIN


APR 29 2014
4:09PM




THE JESSI WEATHER OF THE WORLD HAS ISSUED AN ICE CREAM WARNING FOR THE STATE OF NEW YORK UNTIL THE WORLD ENDS


AT 3:48PM EDT DENISE SPOTTED RAINING ICE CREAM AND ICE CREAM CONES AT HER HOUSE


TO PROTECT UR LIFE SEEK SHELTER NOW!!!
AS THE ICE CREAM CONES CAN KILL YOU

UNDERPANTS WARNING

JESSI WEATHER SERVICE
UNDERPANTS WARNING
APR 28




THE JESSI WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A



UNDERPANTS WARNING UNTIL MIDNIGHT CDT



AT 4:17PM JESSI WEATHER SERVICE RADER INDICATIED RAINING WHITE UNDERWEAR NEAR SOCK TOWN OR 6 MILES NORTH OF YO MAMA CITY



TO REPEAT: RAINING UNDERWEAR HAS BEEN REPORTED STAY IN YOUR HOMES OR THE UNDERWEAR WILL STICK TO YOU